Jessie raised her eyebrows…

Jessie raised her eyebrows, “My mother?”

“Yes, just a sweet note in a lovely sympathy card with some scripture passages,” Kat nodded at Jessie’s incredulous stare, “I know, but it was really sweet. I would have never thought of Miss Julia as a scripture quoting person myself.”

Jessie took a long drink finishing off her chardonnay, “Well I’ll be hanged.”

“Oh and it was so sweet of Jimmy to come up. He looked so handsome in that neat suit,” Kat said as she began to pick up their glasses and bottle.

“Oh yes,” Jessie said and opened the back door, “That’s his Roy Orbison suit.”

“Who?”

“You know,” Jessie started to hum then busted out into song, “Pretty woman…walking down the street, pretty woman…the kind I’d like to meet.”

Kat shook her head good naturedly, “Oh you are too much. Your whole family is just a bunch of characters.”

Jessie hopped up on the counter next to the sink, “Oh honey it’s good to see you smile. And it’s funny you should say that. I call most of the people in Chancy my characters. Oh but I love ‘em.”

Kat rinsed out the wine glasses slowly, “You know you do seem so happy, and dare I say relaxed? I mean, where did my caffeine chugging adrenaline junky best friend go?”

“I think she slipped into a great pair of jeans and lost herself in a beautiful laid back town,” Jessie grinned.

“Ooh you should write that down,” Kat said as she threw a dishtowel at Jessie to dry.

Before Jessie could get started drying she heard the kids and Justine coming through the garage.

“Ant Jesssss!” hollered a frozen tongued Kaylie “I got yoh ickle sno cone!”

Jessie turned around and picked up Kaylie as she barreled through the door, “mmmm this looks like only half a pickle snow cone.”

Kaylie’s bright blue snow cone stained lips grined, “yup, the rest fell in Kris’ lap, but I didn’t do it.”

Jessie set Kaylie down and went to pull Kris out of Justine’s arms, “Gimme that snow cone bandit!”

I’m not worried about the money…

“I’m not worried about the money, Greg took great care to make sure things were always in order,” Kat said as she stood up to stretch and wrap her arms around her shoulders. “What am I going to do?”

Kat looked Jessie square in the eye, “He and those children are my whole world. All I ever wanted was to be a wife and a mother, with all my heart,” then she began to ramble, “But I don’t know what kind of mother I’ll be without him here to balance me, I mean can I be enough for the kids, just me? I can’t imagine going to work now. I don’t really have to for quite a while, but still. I just can’t imagine waking up in that bed every morning without negotiating with him over who gets the first shower.”

That’s when the quiet tears started to flow. Real grief. This wasn’t the shocked, stricken sobs that had greeted Jessie on the phone, but the real deep grief of true loss. It was humbling to see, and it tore at Jessie that she couldn’t take away the pain from someone she loved like a true sister. She stood up and walked over to Kat, stroking her back and tilting her head against Kat’s. They stayed like that for a while as Kat just cried.

“Kat there’s no fix, no one answer I can give you,” Jessie said, “You’re an amazing mother, and when you’re not quite so scared, you’ll remember that. And maybe right now, you don’t need to wake up in that bed upstairs and miss Greg every morning. What do you say, you and the kids come down for that weekend you planned on? Get away from the house for a few days for some fresh air.”

Kat ran her fingers through her hair and sighed, “It’s not a bad idea. I’m sure the kids could use a change of scenery for sure.”

“Okay then,” Jessie said resolutely, “When Mama J gets back with the kiddos we’ll see what needs to be done here, and make plans to head to Chancy on Friday. Okay?”

Kat gave Jessie a gentle smile, “Okay if you make the plans and I go on autopilot?”

“Sure…I like being the boss,” Jessie grinned.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Kat said with a small chuckle.

“Okay,” Jessie challenged back good-humouredly; “I’ll tell you that if Mama J and the kids don’t bring me back a pickle snow cone pretty soon they’re all in for a round of noogies.”

“Speaking of mamas, did I tell you I got the loveliest letter from your mother?” Kat asked.

Jessie knew her well enough to know…

Jessie knew her well enough to know Kat didn’t want her to answer that question. Jessie had been waiting for this. For Kat to slow down enough, to let things sink in, and then to talk them all out.

When Jessie had walked in to Justine’s house two weeks ago, she wasn’t surprised to find the family bundled into the kitchen where Kat felt most in control. Justine snuggled with baby Kris and little Kaylie. Justine had this great hearth area with two overstuffed chairs with their backs to the kitchen and to the breakfast table. She was seated in one of those chairs with Kris asleep against one shoulder and Kaylie leaning up against her other shoulder. Kat was holding a cried-out Kyle in her arms at the breakfast table, and she looked solid as a rock. Jessie had sat her bags down and walked over to Kat, kissing her on the head.

Kyle had looked up with a very serious face for a six-year-old and said, “Aunt Jess, sorry to say…” and his lip wobbled, “but Daddy went to heaven and he’ll be gone from now on.”

Jessie almost lost it right then and there, but managed to pick the little guy out of Kat’s lap. “I’m so sorry sugar-pie,” she said while she kissed him on the forehead. She had already promised herself not to tell the kids it would be all right or any of those other empty words people tried to comfort the grieving with. She held out her hand to Kat who had gripped it like a vice.

But Kat had rallied strongly, put the kids to bed in their sleepover room, and come back downstairs with her chin held high. Justine was showing Jessie to the downstairs guest room when Kat came to the door. “If I’m going to survive the next few days I need you to keep me focused on the task at hand,” she said firmly, “I can’t handle the thoughts of …future without him. Don’t baby me, let’s just get done what needs to get done. I’ve done all the wallowing I can spare for now.”

She’d walked out of the room and hadn’t let either of them say a word. And she’d been as solid as Gibraltar.

Until now.

It had been two weeks…

It had been two weeks since Greg’s funeral and memorial services. Jessie and Kat were on Kat’s back porch with the hum of summer in the air and the sound of traffic not too far away. They sat at a bistro-style table and Kat had her feet up on Jessie’s lap. They had a nice organic Chardonnay they were sipping as they waited for the evening to fall. It was finally quiet.

Jessie mused, what was it about the calm after the storm? She picked up her glass and tapped the base against Kat’s toes to get her attention. “Hey you.”

Kat opened her eyes and gave Jessie a half-smile, “Yes?”

“You dozing off or thinking?”

“Mmm,” Kat said as she sipped her wine, “Thinking. Thinking about how all week long I just wanted some quiet time. I wanted all the well-intended phone calls and visits to stop and I just wanted silence.”

“And…” Jessie prompted.

“And now I don’t,” Kat said as her eyes got misty, “Now I want something to take my mind off of this big gaping hole in this house.”

Kat slid her feet off Jessie’s lap and sat up, taking another slow drink from her glass. She took a slightly ragged breath and looked up at Jessie. “What in the hell am I going to do?” she asked.

A tear slipped out of Jessie’s eye…

A tear slipped out of Jessie’s eye and she dashed it away. She remembered Greg coming up on Kat and Jessie as they sat at Aunt Bette’s graveside the day of the funeral. Almost everyone else had gone back to the fellowship hall at the church. He’d rested a hand on each of their shoulders as he came up behind them.

“You know,” he mused, “A woman is a fascinating creature. It’s humbling to see the strength you two find in one another. The depth of impact you have on those you love. Just from the stories I’ve heard today Jessie, I see the impact your aunt had on these wonderful people and on you. I see where you get your depth of heart, your wit and compassion.”

He’d leaned down to hug them both, “Don’t you ever forget how amazing you both are, and how precious you are.” He’d kissed both of their heads and went to search for the kids, leaving them both there to sit quietly.

Jessie smiled weakly as she turned on the windshield wipers. A heavy mist was beginning to fall as she closed in on Fort Worth.

“I’m gonna miss you Greg,” she whispered. “And I am going to remember. And I’m going to help Kat remember too.”

Jessie resolved right then and there to rally the women in Kat’s life to her side. The way Kat had for her. They’d get through this – together.

As dusk began to settle in on the horizon Jessie switched on her lights…

As dusk began to settle in on the horizon Jessie switched on her lights and sighed. She knew she didn’t have to worry about Kat turning to stone on her kids. Kathleen Jefferson was nothing like Julia Truitt-Hathaway. Jessie thought on that a while. Kat sounded like she was falling apart – and it scared Jessie, and it made her sad, and it made her desperate to help her. She caught herself pushing harder on the gas and made herself set the cruise control.

One thing you could say for her mother, Jessie thought, she had been a rock. A solid, cold, rock that seemed to approach her husband’s death and burial as another function to manage, orchestrate and finish flawlessly. That’s how Jessie had felt at the time – angry and bitter. Only now had she remembered finding her mother stunned and soaked with tears. She hadn’t seen that side of her again. Others had called it shock and stoic the way Julia had pushed through all the details and tasks. Reflecting on it now was the first time Jessie could see the need for that kind of will power and strength.

Lord knows Kat wasn’t feeling that strong when she’d called her, Jessie thought. Her heart softened a little in awe at the thought that she’d been Kat’s first call. She wondered ironically if she was just the first speed-dial on the phone. She flipped on the radio and turned it down low as she thought about Kat.

Greg and the children were her world. She remembered what it was like for your world to begin to crumble around you. To have the rock of your foundation jerked irrevocably away. Kat was shaken to the core and Jessie knew she needed to find some of that stoic Truitt inside her and help Kat stabilize. Hell, Kat had done the same for her.

When Aunt Bette had passed, Jessie felt like she’d been cut away from her last anchor. Bette had been the last adult who had been there for her through everything and who would have been there through anything to come. It was the idea of facing her future entirely on her own two feet that had truly frightened and saddened Jessie at Bette’s passing. Kat had been the one to remind Jessie that there were plenty of people who loved her, adored her and supported her; and Greg had been there too.

She was two hours from Fort Worth now…

She was two hours from Fort Worth now, east bound on the highway with the drum of the road in the cab. No music. Not now. Jessie was lost in her own thoughts.

She’d already rattled through a list of things to do and the calls to make. All the things neither Kat nor Justine would be able to deal with. Kat would have to call Greg’s parents in Colorado. Jessie wished she could take that burden from her but knew she couldn’t.

Oh those children, the beautiful hellions that had so much life in them- so much of Greg in them. How were they handling the news? She didn’t dare call right now. Only imagining what Justine and Kat were bracing to do.

She knew they’d handle it better than the day her mother had told her that her father was gone.

Jessie had come home from a friend’s house to find her mother sitting on the edge of the bed. Mascara and makeup streaked, running down her face from the tracks of tears that had been pouring for hours. A soaked handkerchief in her hands, she’d stared at Jessie a moment when she’d walked in the room, calling hello.

“Jessica must you yell like you were raised in a barn?” Julia asked without any inflection as she stared glass-eyed past Jessie.

“Sorry mother,” she’d all but whispered, “What’s the matter?” She’d never seen her mother with mussed make up.

Julia’s eyes shifted her direction and she looked at Jessie, “Your father is dead.”

Jessie had begun to shake as her mother stood and straightened her skirt, walked to her dressing table mirror and began to clean up her face with her handkerchief.

Jessie didn’t remember much after that because she’d fainted into a heap on the floor along with her book bag. She’d come to in her own room with dear Mrs. Klapper, their neighbor, sitting on her bed. It had been Mrs. Klapper who comforted Jessie through the horrible news of the car accident – a crash coming back from a lunch meeting with an important client. He’d been pronounced dead at the scene. Mrs. Klapper had been the one to hold her while she cried and asked questions and denied the truth. She’d told Jessie her mother was in shock; friends and colleagues were there trying to console her downstairs.

She was on her way out of town…

She was on her way out of town within 45 minutes. She’d called Claudette on her way up the stairs to cancel dinner and tell her there was a cobbler in the oven. As she turned onto Hwy.16 she wasn’t quite sure why she’d done that.

Claudette was at Creekside in 15 minutes cleaning up the kitchen. She helped Jessie pack and had her run through the work that needed to be done on the house. Claudette took notes as Jessie slung clothes and shoes and toiletries. As Jessie zipped up her bags Claudette came up behind her and turned her around. Jessie found herself enveloped in a hug she didn’t want to need so much.

Claudette sat Jessie on the bed with her hands on her shoulder. “Sugar I know Kat needs you. But you need to slow down and take just a minute. I’m not letting you in that truck until I know you’re clear headed enough to drive.

“All this stuff you’ve been rattling on about will get done and I’ll see it’s done right. Jimmy can come over to my place for chicken fried steak for crying out loud. You know this ol’ house will be just fine a few weeks without you. But you don’t need to be breaking down in tears on I20.”

Jessie hugged Claudette tight around the waist. “Thank you.”

“Well you’re welcome,” Claudette said firmly, “Now you call me if you need anything, but I don’t want you worrying about Bette’s place alright? You just go be with Kat and those babies. And let her know they’re in our prayers okay?”

“Can do,” Jessie said as she pushed up off the bed. Her movement had Buck bounding down and towards the bedroom door.

“Oh…” Jessie said.

“Don’t worry, he’ll have a fun visit at the farm. You don’t need to worry about keeping up with him right now.”

The next thing she knew she was loaded up and on her way.

“Kat honey? Honey is that you?”

“Kat honey? Honey is that you?” Jessie frantically called into the phone.

“Ye – ye- yesss,” came one of the most pitiful sounds Jessie had ever heard in her life.

“Oh my gawd, what? What is it? Oh my gawd it’s not one of the kids. Honey talk to me,” Jessie pleaded as her hand tightened around the phone causing the plastic seam to pop and crack.

“Oh gawd Jess, it’s Greg. He’s gone,” Kat seemed to muffle her sobs.

Jessie almost dropped the phone and felt faint. She grabbed the counter as Buck began to nudge her knees and whine.

She took a steadying, ragged breath, “What do you mean gone?”

“He, he,” Kat’s breathe sounded ragged in Jessie’s ear, “He had a heart attack at the office. They didn’t even take him to Plaza. They couldn’t even try. He was just ga-ga gone.”

“Oh honey, oh Lord. Where are you?”

“I’m at Mama’s. She took the kids to the zoo today. I had to get my babies so I drove over here and I came in and sat down. I’m sitting down. I’m in the kitchen.”

“Okay Kit Kat did you call Mama J?” Jessie’s mind began to race.

“No. I just…I don’t know I got the call from Bill at Gre-Gre-Greg’s office and just got in the car to come here. Then I sat down and I just…oh gawwwwd Jessie.”

Jessie’s heart felt like it was tearing in two and she felt the tears pouring from her burning eyes.

“Kat, just breathe honey, please just listen to my voice and breathe. I’m gonna call Mama on my cell phone, you stay on this phone with me, okay?”

“Okay…”

Jessie grabbed her cell and scrolled through the contacts until she found Justine Rathburn. She took a deep breath and hit call. “Kat just blow your nose and tell me you’re okay.”

“I’m never going to be okay,” was the ragged whisper of an answer that came through the phone. Then Justine picked up the line.

“Is this that rebel girl calling me?” came Justine’s laughing voice over the cell phone.

“Hi Mama J, are the kiddos with you?” Jessie asked in an all-business tone.

“Why yes, they are darlin’. We’re at the zoo and they’re watching the white tigers napping. Jessie, what’s wrong? You sound so serious.” Justine said.

“Yes. I have Kat on the other phone. I need you to step away from the kids for a moment and brace yourself.”

“Oh my. Okay. What? What is it honey?”

Kat’s crying was less ragged and quieter as Jessie turned to speak into the other phone. “Mama J, Kat’s at your place. She just got news that Greg has had a heart attack at the office.”

With a keening grasp Justine whispered urgently, “Dear Lord is he okay? Why didn’t she call me? Oh my, what hospital is he at?”

“He’s not at a hospital. He’s gone Mama J. He died at the office. And our girl is in shock. Utter shock. The kiddos can’t see her like this,” Jessie said in firm, calm voice she usually reserved for clients on the brink of internal disaster. “Are you there?”

With a deep, audible breath Justine said, “I’m here. I’ve gotta talk to her Jessie.”

“I know, hold on,” Jessie switched phones, “Kat honey, you there? Mama needs to talk to you, she’s going to call so you need to hang up with me so she can get through.”

“Jess…” Kat began.

“I know. I’ll be there in, like, 3 hours okay? I’m coming straight to Mama J’s house.”

“Okay.”

Switching phones, “Justine…”

“I heard honey. Thank you. I’ll see you in a while.”

Jessie hung up both lines and stared at the phones. She wiped at her wet cheeks and squatted down to hug Buck. She didn’t get up for a good ten minutes, just held on and cried into his neck.